No. 22 - Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

AND NOW! AT LAST! Another film completely different from some of the other films which aren't quite the same as this one is.

Rated: PG (Parental Guidance) for mild violence and rabbit-induced gore

Directors and Starring: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones; Writers and Starring: Gilliam, Jones, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle

Movie Introduction: The film follows the adventures of King Arthur, the mythical King of the Britons. As ordained by God, Arthur leads his knights on a quest to find the Holy Grail. They must face a series of tests and terrors including the Black Knight, a three-headed giant, annoying French Soldiers, amorous nuns at the Castle Anthrax, and a killer rabbit. Then, the final test, to cross the perilous Bridge of Death.

Defining Moment: The black knight

King Arthur, and his trusted servant Patsy, are scouring the land in search of warriors for his court at Camelot. They reach a bridge guarded by the Black Knight. They watch as he dispatches a weaker knight with ease. When Arthur asks for passage over the bridge, the Black Knight boldly states that he will move for no man. An epic, bloody battle ensues. (watch the entire battle HERE on YouTube: Warning. This scene is exceedingly stupid and in poor taste) 

Something subtle you might have missed:  base intelligence

Clearly if you are drawn to this film, you must have missed several years of critical education. This is a silly film for silly persons who enjoy, nay revel, in their silliness.

Memorable Quotes:

"Look, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." - Dennis

"We better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite!" - King Arthur

Dad's Review:

It would be a daunting task indeed to define either Monty Python itself, or the films (To call them "films" is stretch, they are more like a loose, confused selection of stupid skits.) they have produced. Like excrement through a goose, the chaps from Ye Olde England have littered our film screens with some of the most vile and intellectually offensive material known to mankind. But I digress.

As I set about to analyze The Holy Grail, applying sophisticated film concepts and prior research, I quickly learned that any application of higher learning is a great waste of time. 

One thing for sure is that Python is not a "person" or "thing", but rather a collective, a demented hive mind. Perhaps they are the "they" we often hear reference to. Who knows?

That we do know is that many lines in the film start with "We". Maybe, we are onto something! There I said "we" twice just now. Am I a Knight who says "We"? God I hope not.

ANYWAY... 

The following "We..." list should encapsulate the high-points (or perhaps low points) of the film.  The list will either: a) put you to sleep immediately, or b) cause your stomach to experience nausea. 

(Disclaimer: None of the quotes below are completely accurate. I manipulated them to fit my devious narrative. Tee-Hee)

"We…

• ...have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who while join me in my court at Camelot." – King Arthur
   
• ...are an autonomous collective, I thought. I didn’t know we had a king." – Filth-dredging Serf woman
   
• ...can’t take him like that, he’s not dead. I would be against regulations." – The Dead Collector
   
• ...eat ham and jam and spam a lot!" – The Knights of the Round Table Singers
   
• ...are the Knights Who Say Ni!" – Knights who say "Ni", that is until they no longer say "Ni"
   
• ...should not bicker over who killed who. This is supposed to be a happy occasion." – King of Swamp Castle
   
• ...should be spanked and then the oral sex." – Dingo, twin mistress of Anthrax Castle, home of the grail-shaped beacon
   
• ...don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" – French Guard #1
   
• ...did the hat…and the nose…but she’s a witch!" - Dirt-covered townsperson #3
   
• ...must beware the Cave of Kyle Banner, wherein lies a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived." – Sorcerer Tim
   
• ...could confuse the rabbit, perhaps, by running away more!" – the brave, yet soiled, Sir Robin
   
• ...shall use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. ‘Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries. – King Arthur

After that exhaustive list, you can just skip the film. It is, after all, exceedingly silly.

However, if you can somehow disconnect all logic and rational thinking from your brain, and are in the mood to sit back, drool, and digest something completely different, you may actually enjoy this film.

 Onto No. 23... The Greatest Time of our Existence