No. 40 - The 13th Warrior (1999) Touchstone Pictures, Buena Vista Pictures Distribution Fear The Wendol...

The 13th Warrior (1999), DML Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ - perfect

Director: John McTiernan; Screenplay: William Wisher, Jr., Warren Lewis; based on the novel Eaters of the Dead by Michael Chrichton; Rated R for bloody battles, carnage

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Diane Venora, Vladimir Kulich, Dennis Storhøi, Omar Sharif, Richard Bremmer, Mischa Hausserman

Movie Introduction: A Muslim Arabian ambassador Ahmad ibn Fadlan (Banderas), exiled from his homeland for bedding the Sheik's wife, finds himself in the company of Vikings. While the behavior of the Norsemen initially offends him, ibn Fadlan grows to respect the brash warriors, who are led by the quiet and strong Buliwyf (Kulich). Among them, Fadlan immediately befriends Herger the Joyous (Storhøi).  When another clan reaches out for help, an oracle chooses thirteen men to undertake the dangerous mission, however, the last man must be no north man. All heads turn toward ibn Fadlan - the Arab has been chosen, and he cannot decline. They travel by ship to a land gripped in the terror of an ancient evil, whose brutal raids have all but wiped out the Viking settlers there.

Defining Moment: Herger's example

The Vikings have reached the settlement under attack. The king there remembers Buliwyf as a young warrior and welcomes his help.  However the clan leader's son does not want their aid and plots against them. The north men need a way to tip scale, and remove the negative political influences the son might possess. It is decided that Herger will pick a fight with the opposition's their biggest man, a burly, massive redhead. Herger dumps mud on this back and the fight is on. After some amazing swordplay, it appears that Herger is finished and will certainly lose his life. However, the crafty little warrior has saved his best for last. (Watch the full scene on YouTube. Warning, its ending is graphic.)

Something subtle you might have missed:  beowulf was here

This film’s plot is very loosely based on the Old English epic poem Beowulf, written around 1025. Beowulf, a great warrior, comes to aid King Hrothgar. The monster Grendel and his evil mother are slain by the hero. In our film here, King Hrothgar enlists the help of Buliwyf. They must battle the Wendol, and destroy their evil queen.

Very similar indeed.

Memorable Quotes:

"The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won't live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed. Fear profits a man nothing." - Herger the Joyous

“A man might be thought wealthy if someone were to...draw the story of his deeds, that they may be remembered.” – Buliwyf

Dad's Review:

At about age 15, and thanks to my sister Reba, I started reading her magazines called: The Savage Sword of Conan. These monthly issues were the forerunners of today's graphic novels, and they were not for children. However, the black and white artwork was amazing. Conan was a heroic figure who spent his time battling monsters, wizards and evil kings and queens. He was tall, muscular and handsome. He was a superb leader with an intelligent wit about him. Many of the mag's stories were illustrated adaptations based on the 17 original Conan stories written by Robert E. Howard in the 1930’s. Howard was a young Texan from tiny Cross Plains, Texas, which was a mere 30 miles from my ranch home. At age 30, he took his own life because his mother died.  

Conan is a great fictional heroic figure and I was excited for these stories to make it film.

Hollywood tried. Twice. Both efforts, though noble, missed the real essence of Conan. They focused on the muscles, swordplay and sexuality. Both actors physically looked the part, but Arnold Schwarzenegger just could not act at that point in his career, and Jason Mamoa was directed to portray the hero as only surly and angry. This was most disappointing.

Then I saw The 13th Warrior, and it instantly hit me. Buliwyf (pronounced Bull-vie), the story’s hero, WAS Conan – a strong, capable warrior, but also an intelligent leader. So, ironically, I would finally find my perfect Conan film, neatly disguised within a Viking movie. 

This film has a number of great aspects. It is presented from the point of view of an outsider. Ibn is not a Norseman, so he must learn about them, which helps the viewing audience learn, too. Banderas is perfect as the Arabian drafted into service on this amazing quest. He earns his chops and eventually becomes a trusted ally and advisor.

The film also excels at building suspense, and dread, with the revelation of the threat the Vikings must face. This was a time of superstition, and a fear of the unknown. Early on, the North men are afraid to even utter the word "Wendol", an unspeakable, ancient evil. We witness the bloody results of an attack on a nearby farm house. The bodies have been "gnawed upon". As the camera pans away from the house, we see a silhouette of a creature, watching from the trees, with an unnatural form and deep-set, piercing eyes. What are these creatures? Beasts or men?

This film certainly features a lot of battle and hand-to-hand combat. Yet, director McTiernan sets aside moments for character development. These are small touches, and it makes a difference, thus adding to the film's richness. I particularly enjoy the early explanations by Omar Sharif, the bro-mance between Ibn and Herger,  and the brief affair between ibn and the serving girl. 

On a final note, this film is considered one of Hollywood's biggest box office flops. I have no idea why. There were lots of behind the scenes squabbles between director McTiernan and writer/consultant Michael Chrichton. Regardless, this film is very, very good. It is suspenseful, scary, epic, sad and so very heroic.

Take the time, brave the mild gore and find out the truth about the 'eaters of the dead!"

Onto No. 41... Honest Mettle