Dad's Genre Lists

Bad Natured

This ranked list poses the question: What can we do when nature turns on us?

These beasts aren't from outer space. Earth is their home.

Be they beasts who have just grown tired of pesky humans, 

or slightly larger versions, thanks to a little ill-advised scientific experimentation.

They've been hunted, poisoned, and threatened by man for years.

When it's pay-back time, there's no safe place to hide.
 

1. Jaws
2. The Birds
3. Night of the Grizzly
4. The Edge
5. The Grey
6. Brotherhood of the Wolf
7. Eight-Legged Freaks
8. Prophecy
9. Moby Dick
10. Open Water
11. Grizzly Man
12. Cujo
13. Them!
14. Backcountry
15. The Shallows
16. Arachnophobia
17. The Reef
18. Lake Placid
19. Piranha
20. Anaconda

   Hon. Men. The Revenant
 

Starring: Kirk Douglas, James Mason, Paul Lukas, Peter Lorre, Robert J. Wilke, Ted de Corsia, Carleton Young, J. M. Kerrigan

"I am not what is called a civilized man", Professor. I have done with society for reasons that seem good to me. Therefore I do not obey its laws." - Captain Nemo

Why watch this? A rip-roaring sailor story with Captain Nemo, and a slimy, giant squid.

Dad's Review: A wonderful Disney film made from the classic Jules Verne novel. It was such a joy to watch this on The Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights as a kid. James Mason as the mysterious Captain Nemo and a young Kirk Douglas provide the meat of the acting here. However, the giant squid is the real star of the show. The special effects were something to behold, and at that time, unequaled.

Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer, Danny Trejo, Vincent Castellanos

"They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode." - Paul Serone

Why watch this? I have to admit, this giant snake IS menacing!

Dad's Review: This film combines a lethally murderous snake, and some of the over-the-top performances that can take a film like this to the next level. It becomes a "can't wait to see the next person get it" fest, and waiting for the next outrageous line that Jon Voight, poorly channeling Bobby de Niro, will utter. Bad as it can be, it's still great midnight movie fare.

Starring: Jeff Daniels, Julian Sands, John Goodman, Harley Jane Kozak, Stuart Pankin, Brian McNamara, Henry Jones, Peter Jason

"Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider." - Dr. Ross Jennings

Why watch this? Man... spiders. Everything is creepy. The web. The eyes. Ewwww!

Dad's Review: This is a superb film about a group of super-aggressive, and deadly poisonous, spiders that decide they've had enough from man. They basically take over a small farm, and it's up to our cast to defeat the crawly buggers. This film wisely does not take itself too seriously. There are some laughs, but it's very creepy in many scenes, as we await attacks!  

Starring: Missy Peregrym, Jeff Roop, Eric Balfour, Nicholas Campbell

"You know we'll be lucky to see anything bigger than a chipmunk, right?" - Alex

Why watch this? Several bad decisions lure a couple deep into bear country. Not good.

Dad's Review: A city couple, Alex and Jenny, take a camping trip deep into the woods. Alex, who has hiked here once before, plans to propose to Jenny at a secluded lake he remembers. Against the ranger's warnings, they embark and find themselves lost. They can't find the lake, and manage to attract a large, hungry black bear who attacks them at night in their tent. It's one tense, terrifying survival battle in the back woods.

Starring: Rod Taylor, Tippi Hedren, Jessica Tandy, Suzanne Pleshette, Veronica Cartwright, Ethel Griffies, Charles McGraw, Lonny Chapman

"I have never known birds of different species to flock together. The very concept is unimaginable. Why, if that happened, we wouldn't stand a chance! How could we possibly hope to fight them?" – Mrs. Bundy

Why watch this? The idea of peaceful birds, turning on man, is literally terrifying.

Dad's Review: Hitchcock was the master of suspense. Every frame of his movie builds on something with an eventual payoff. I love this film because of the horror aspect (a lot more than Psycho). This film wonderfully utilizes lulls. There is a nice, long build-up to the first attack. Then for no reason, the birds stop. This gives the audience a chance to catch their breath. Then starts the next build-up. I think the birds are more terrifying when they are sitting still, on the jungle gym, on the roof, in the drive way. Looking. Planning. Waiting...

Starring: Richard Denning, Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas, Mario Navarro, Carlos Muzquiz, Pascual Garcia Pena, Fanny Schiller

"Ordinarily I've got nothing against moonlit nights, but I'll be glad to get by this one." - Hank Scott

Why watch this? You'll enjoy this better-than-average, creepy B-movie.

Dad's Review: When volcanic activity releases gigantic prehistoric scorpions on a small Mexican town, it's up to local residents and the best of the world's scientist to find a way to stop them! This chiller's special effects were the product of Willis O'Brien (King Kong 1930). Of course it's campy and the acting is average, but man, when these giant arachnids are on the prowl, your skin will crawl!

Starring: Samuel Le Bihan, Vincent Cassel, Émilie Dequenne, Monica Bellucci, Mark Dacascos, Jérémie Renier, Jean Yanne, Édith Scob

"Lies appear true when dressed in Latin." - Gregoire De Fronsac

Why watch this? This is a wonderfully dark French take on the werewolf legend.

Dad's Review: This French film exudes “atmosphere”. It's creepy and surreal. A mysterious, vicious creature is terrorizing 18th century France. This is loosely based on the true story of the Beast of Gévaudan. The plot is historically inaccurate, but, just let that go. In this case, I am perfectly fine with a Hawaiian actor (who plays "The Chairman" on Food Network's Iron Chef America) portraying a native American scout, who possesses incredible martial arts stills. It's something special to watch. Trust me.

Starring: Dee Wallace, Daniel Hugh-Kelly, Danny Pintauro, Ed Lauter, Christopher Stone, Kaiulai Lee, Billy Jayne, Mills Watson, Jerry Hardin

"Who let the monster out of my closet? Who let the monster out of my closet?" - Tad Trenton

Why watch this? A pretty faithful film based on the Stephen King novel.

Dad's Review: When an adult St. Bernard, named Cujo, is bitten by a bat, he contracts rabies. After a few days, the dog is completely mad and murdering folks. When mother Donna and her young son, Tad, pull up to the dog's home, Cujo terrorizes them because her car won't start. Dee Wallace is superb as a mother waging a battle with the gory beast, doing everything she can think of to outwit the slobbering carnivore.

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Harold Perrineau, Elle Macpherson, L.Q. Jones, Kathleen Wilhoite, David Lindstedt, Mark Kiely, Eli Gabay

"We're all put to the test... but it never comes in the form or a

t the point we would prefer, does it?" - Charles Morse

Why watch this? Hopkins is wonderful as the unlikely protagonist, and that bear...Damn!

Dad's Review: This film has a lot going on: breathtaking scenery, survival, infidelity, betrayal, and a hungry Kodiak bear (the massive "Bart"). The fun part of this adventure is the way the film’s reluctant protagonist, Charles, draws upon things he has read to help the group once they are stranded and helpless. Then the massive bear finds their scent, and starts stalking them. The thought of that is terrifying. 

Starring: David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, Scott Terra, Scarlett Johansson, Leon Rippy, Rick Overton, Doug E. Doug, Matt Czuchry, Eileen Ryan

"No one's going to believe me, cause I'm a kid, and they never listen to kids." - Mike

Why watch this? The idea of giant spiders is horrifying, but also kinda cool!

Dad's Review: If you have a spider phobia, this film is not for you. It’s a perfect blend of old-school sci-fi campiness, humor and ground-breaking CGI. The film really does not take itself too seriously and that makes it work. Did I say there are giant spiders everywhere? Well, there are. All shapes, categories and sizes, just doing what spiders do, except now, humans are on their menu. This monster/comedy/action/horror thriller is a lot of fun, and it happens to be the film that launched Scarlett Johansson's career!

Starring: Michael Douglas, Val Kilmer, Tom Wilkinson, John Kani, Bernard Hill, Brian McCardie, Amily Mortimer, Om Puri

"Some thought they were not lions at all, but the spirits of dead medicine men come back to spread madness. Or they were the devil sent to stop the white man from owning the world." - Samuel

Why watch this? This is a genuinely scary film about vicious lions hunting in the night.

Dad's Review: At the turn of the century, two white hunters seek to hunt and kill two man-eating lions that are terrorizing villages around Tsavo, Kenya. The hunters are conflicted between doing a good thing and seeking reputation. It's a great late night thriller, and also spans the beautiful scenery of the African continent.  

Starring: Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, James Badge Dale

"A job at the end of the world. A salaried killer for a big petroleum company. I don't know why I did half the things I've done, but I know this is where I belong, surrounded by my own. Ex-cons, fugitives, drifters, a**holes. Men unfit for mankind." - Ottway

Why watch this? It's bleak, cold, and hungry wolves are tracking crash survivors... but they have Liam Neeson.

Dad's Review: I was unprepared for how good this film is. Neeson portrays Ottway, a man whose job is to hunt and kill massive Arctic wolves who harass and attack oilfield workers. On a flight back home, his plane crashes into the forest a few hundred miles from anything. Several men survive, but they are now being hunted. This is a race for survival as they try to make it back to civilization.

Starring: Christopher George, Andrew Prine, Richard Jaeckel, Joan McCall, Joe Dorsey, Charles Kissinger, Mary Ann Hearn

"You're chasin' somethin' about the size of a D8 Cat with teeth." - Don Stober

Why watch this? To see the grizzly slap the kid in the sleeping bag across the campsite.

Dad's Review: After Jaws, a myriad of low budget copycat film exploded on movie screens across he country. Let's just say there weren't many Oscar winners in the bunch. This film, however used night events, in a forest, to scare the heck out of you. How this film got a PG rating I will never know. When this gigantic bear takes a swat with his powerful arm and claw, the victim goes flying, usually in several pieces. Just check out the trailer!

Starring: Timothy Treadwell, Werner Herzog, Amie Huguenard, Carol Dexter, Val Dexter

"What haunts me, is that in all the faces of all the bears that Treadwell ever filmed, I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only the overwhelming indifference of nature." - Werner Herzog

Why watch this? A compelling documentary about a man obsessed with grizzly bears.

Dad's Review: Werner Herzog's documentaries, and I hope this encourages you to explore more, are always multi-layered. Tim Treadwell was nature's cheerleader, a man deeply devoted to wildlife and, in particular, the study of grizzly bears in the wild. Much if the films footage was filmed by Treadwell. However, time passes, we see him slipping into an unnatural level of devotion to these dangerous beasts. He starts to think of himself as one of them, a part of their family - and it eventually costs him.

Starring: Kenneth Tobey, Faith Domergue, Donald Curtis, Ian Keith, Dean Maddox Jr., Chuck Griffiths

"Doctor, what kind of a sea beast would be that large? And what do you call it so I can stop calling it It?" – Cmdr. Pete Mathews

Why watch this film? San Fran is under attack from a giant Octopus! No sushi for you!

Dad's Review: All you have to say is Ray Harryhausen and I know the creature effects are going to be something special to behold. The first half of the film moves slowly, as humanity slowly discovers what they have to deal with. However, when the monstrous cephalopod makes landfall, the audience is in for a real treat. Ray's mastery of stop-motion animations is unequaled.

Starring: Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Carl Gottlieb, Lee Fierro

"Well, this is not a boating accident! It wasn't any propeller, it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a shark." – Matt Hooper when examining Chrissie's remains

Why watch this film? This groundbreaking horror film was the original Summer Blockbuster.

Dad's Review: For me, Jaws is the clear number film of all time. It was the perfect film for its time, for a new genius director, for summer movie goers looking for a thrill ride like no other. It was a nightmare to make (as are all films shot on the open ocean), but Spielberg somehow turned the setbacks into positives. The result was a movie that owned the box office for three years.

Starring: William Shatner, Tiffany Bolling, Woody Strode, Altovise Davis, Lieux Dressler, David McLean

"Are you crazy, lady? This is our home, and no damn spiders are gonna run us out!" – Birch Colby

Why watch this film? Who better to combat evil spiders than William Shatner!

Dad's Review: Fx.

Starring: Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson, Betty White, Tim Dixon, David James Lewis, Natassia Malthe, Mariska Hargitay

"Murders and rapes in the city, people bomb planes, can the police stop 'em? No! But feed one little cow to a crocodile..." - Mrs. Bickerman

Why watch this? This gigantic crocodile film is scary, gory and a whole lot of fun!

Dad's Review: Somehow, a monstrous crocodile finds its way into a lake, where it is being fed by a nice little old lady, wonderfully played by Bette White. However, she can't quite keep up with the ever-growing reptile's diet, so it starts gobbling up the locals. A superb cast, creative croc-effects, and some very funny dialogue, spice up this grisly creature feature.

Starring: Gregory Peck, Richard Basehart, Leo Genn, Orson Welles, James Robertson Justice, Harry Andrews, Bernard Miles, Noel Purcell

"The white whale tasks me; he heaps me. Yet he is but a mask. 'Tis the thing behind the mask I chiefly hate; the malignant thing that has plagued mankind since time began" - Captain Ahab

Why watch this? To step out of the pages of this classic novel and experience it on the big screen.

Dad's Review: This salty epic brings to life Herman Melville's epic tale of one man's deranged obsession. Stern-jawed Gregory Peck is the perfect Captain Ahab, a brutal man hell bent on killing the white whale, a beast that has caused him so much pain. Onward he pushes the crew! He will have his revenge

Starring: Michael Craig, Joan Greenwood, Herbert Lom, Michael Callan, Gary Merrill, Dan Jackson

"What I did was in the name of peace. Your war, like all wars, glories in devastation and death." - Captain Nemo

Why watch this? This film is a master-class on stop-motion animation by the undisputed master, Ray H.

Dad's Review: Jules Verne's many fantastical stories are perfect vehicles for filmmakers looking to create larger-than-life animals. Set during the Civil War, a ship washes ashore on a strange isle inexplicably inhabited by the infamous Captain Nemo and creatures of immense size. Still today, I am amazed by the incredibly nuanced details of the massive crab and the hive of gargantuan bees. 

Starring: Charlton Heston, Abraham Sofaer, William Conrad, Eleanor Parker, Romo Vincent, Douglas Fowley, John Dierkes

"Marabunta. Soldier ants. Billions and billions of them on the march. For generations they stay in their anthills. Then, for no reason, they start to move, gathering up others as they go, until they become a flood of destruction." - Commissioner

Why watch this? Ox.

Dad's Review: Axxxx.

Starring: Clint Walker, Martha Hyer, Keenan Wynn, Jack Elam, Nancy Kulp, Leo Gordon, Ron Ely, Ellen Corby, Med Flory

"Adam's dead. Phil won't have a left arm, ever again. They got on old Satan's trail before we did. And he doubled back on 'em." - Jed Curry

Why watch this? Old Satan. This bear is seriously a threat to a family of Western settlers.

Dad's Review: A family of homesteaders set up their new ranch only to find the area is the feeding-ground of a nasty, rogue grizzly bear called "Old Satan". This film reminds me a lot of Old Yeller and it features one of my favorite Western stars of that time named Clint Walker. Some scenes are scarier than they should be. They certainly were for a wide-eyed 9-year-old, at home alone while his mom worked at the Hospital.

Starring: Blanchard Ryan, Daniel Travis, Saul Stein, Michael E. Williamson
 

"Where's the boat. Daniel. Where's the boat?" - Susan

Why watch this? Next to Jaws, this may be the most terrifying film on the open ocean.

Dad's Review: Shot like a home movie, this harrowing film centers on a couple on a scuba diving expedition. The dive itself is beautiful, but when they resurface, their boat is gone (we learn due to a counting error). The couple quickly realizes that they are stranded at sea. The couple go from denial, to calm, to worried, to hysterical, as the minutes turn into hours. Then fins begin to cut the surface...

Starring: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies, Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn, Barbara Steele

"People eat fish, Grogan. Fish don't eat people." - Dumont

Why watch this? A swarm of fish with razor-sharp teeth. Sign me up!

Dad's Review: At Lost River Lake, some teenagers go missing. It might have something to do with the military facility up-river. Apparently they were experimenting on, you guessed it, piranhas. When a batch of those nastly little guppies get into the public water, we're gonnat need a lot of body bags. It's surprisingly well done thanks to directory Joe Dante. There are some great jump scares, and lots of goriness.  

Starring: Robert Foxworth, Talia Shire, Armand Assante, Richard Dysart, Victoria Racimo, Charles H. Gray

"The size of a dragon...And something about eyes, cat's eyes. And the old man, the Indian. Didn't he describe that creature as being a part of everything in God's creation?" - Dr. Robert Verne

Why watch this? To see if you are brave enough to endure the PROPHECY!

Dad's Review: This film is special to me because my best friend, David, narrated the entire plot to me late one night when sleeping over. I was terrified and could not wait to see it. He was right, as this film was really scary, especially the night scenes, where the monster is lurking in the forest, just out of sight. It may seem campy now, but I still can't watch it at night alone.

Starring: Damian Walshe-Howling, Zoe Naylor, Gyton Grantley, Adrienne Pickering, Mark Simpson, Kieran Darcy-Smith

"You look like a seal in that. Sharks love seals." - Warren

Why watch this? Another great film example of "you don't want to be stranded on the sea".

Dad's Review: This is a well-done Australian film about four friends who venture to scuba dive off the coast of the Great Barrier reef. Their boat snags on the shallow coral and capsizes. Their choice, stay with the boat, or swim to an island North of them, but not in sight. You can imagine what happens to team-swim. As the four work their way through the sea, every second is truly unnerving. It's based on a true story. Yikes!

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Will Poulter, Domhnall Gleeson, Forrest Goodluck, Paul Anderson, Kristoffer Joner, Joshua Burge

"As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight. You breathe... keep breathing." - Hugh Glass

Why watch this? This is a hyper-realistic account of the merciless life in the pre-1850 American wilderness.

Dad's Review: Can you imagine the North American frontier before malls, Arby's and National Parks? This was a brutal time, and inhabitants had to be able hunt, brave the elements and defend themselves. Life was, as they say, cheap. This incredible tale centers on a father's love, betrayal, murder and the quest for vengeance. It is essential viewing. That said, what you'll remember most is the harrowing bear attack.

Starring: Blake Lively, Óscar Jaenada, Brett Cullen, Angelo Josue Lozano Corzo, Sedona Legge, Pablo Calva, Deigo Espejel, Janelle Bailey

"That's a terrible way to say thank you." - Nancy, to the gull, Sully, at it bites her finger

Why watch this? Unlucky is the person who becomes the sole target of an apex predator.

Dad's Review: In films of this ilk, it's always a bad idea when an adventurous young person to decide to take off, and venture to a secluded place to do x. In this case, "x" is surf. Our heroine, Nancy, is catching some waves when a giant shark targets her and strands her on a rock 200 yards from shore. So begins a game of survival for the young med student. It's harrowing, but she's intelligent and resourceful. Can she survive!?

Starring: James Whitmore, Edmund Gwenn, Joan Weldon, James Arness, Onslow Stevens, Sean McClory, Christian Drake

"We may be witnesses to a Biblical prophecy come true - 'And there shall be destruction and darkness come upon creation, and the beasts shall reign over the Earth." - Dr. Harold Medford

Why watch this? Sometimes, it feels wonderful to watch gigantic ants on a rampage!

Dad's Review: In the wake of destruction wrought by the atomic bombs used in World War II, a series of horror films (many of them "B" grade) hit theaters showcasing the consequences of this horrifying science. Mutations and gigantic creatures packed movie screens. This film is one of the more quality efforts. When the source of a series of mysterious deaths is finally discovered, it will take all the US Army can muster to somehow prevent the the end of mankind as we know it! Gonna need a lot of bug spray!

Starring: John Agar, Mara Corday, Leo G. Carroll, Nestor Paiva, Ross Elliott, Edwin Rand, Raymond Bailey

"No footprints! No blood! No sign of a struggle! The bones just stripped clean like peeling a banana!" - Andy Anderson

Why watch this? Scientist's grand idea to conquer starvation - grow giant animals.

Dad's Review: When a scientist's grand idea to conquer starvation is to feed livestock a bio-engineered growth nutrient, you know this is going to end badly. The film-makers combined both actual spider footage, and some very creepy spider effects. The result is a very good sci-fi offering as local authorities must unravel the mystery, then find a desperate way to stop the giant, man-eating arachnid.     

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